BBC Introducing

 

Just a note to you that I also create music

Lady in Black

Next step in my path leads to a small quiet village. It’s getting dark and I can see the rain clouds are stepping in for the sun to make things more challenging. It seems the village is empty…

The rain starts falling as I entered the small village, houses seems to be empty and the quitness is getting into me. As the heavy rain starts to make me wet and annoyed I see someone on my path sitting on the road, waiting for me. A lady in black with an umbrella just sitting there on the road without worrying about getting soaked up from the rain.

On my way towards her I keep thinking that life isn’t complex, we humans are complex creatures that makes everything harder than it has to be. I think that life is really simple, and the simple thing in life is the right thing to do. When we were kids, everything seems happier without having to worry about stuff that we adults have to worry about. I know sometimes it seems that being a kid is easier, but the truth is that life is easy. It will always be easy. The only difference is that we are simply older, and the older we get, the harder we make things for ourselves. We simply see life as kids with more open and hopeful eyes. We liked seeing people smile, we avoided people who frowned and we ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty and slept when we were tired.

Do you know that you look to everyone else for the answers you only can give yourself? You get told what to do, you get told how to think, what’s looks good, what’s “Success” really is and who to go to when you’re in trouble. You simply don’t have to listen to others what to do. Listen to yourself. Break the mold. Think for yourself. When you stop doing what everybody else wants you to do and start following your own intuition, you will find exactly what you are looking for.
Why do you let everyone else make you feel guilty for living your own life? As long as you’re not hurting anyone else, keep living your life YOUR way.  Sometimes we get lost in trying to live for someone else, trying to meet their expectations, and doing things just to impress them. You take a moment for yourself and think about it.  Are you doing things because you truly believe in them? You have to remember your own goals.  Live, do and love so that you are happy, because when it comes down to it, relationships can end in an instant, but you will live with yourself for the rest of your life.
The best thing is to get the toxic people out of your life. You don’t have to feel guilty about removing those toxic people out of your own life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, colleague, childhood friend or a new acquaintance.  You don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small.  It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change.  But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go. Let’s go inside… I need a cigarette.

As we go inside her house I feel the ease in me. My guilty pleasures needs to go. With a simple conversation with this lady, my view of the world changed instantly. This makes me want to see where this conversation really leads to.

I wonder why she is all alone in this small village with no one to talk to and no one to go to when her desires come up. She goes to the living room, light up a cigarette and sits on the table. It all become uncomfortable when she just sits there and looks at me like I’ve done something really wrong. Her eyes stared strongly against me, with all the judging I felt my heart became cold against the world. I asked her why she is looking at me without even saying a word and she just stared…

You’re apart of the drama circle, from the gossips and verbal deformations you tend to give to the people around you which really is making you feel guilty and negative. For the people that refuse to support you, ignore them… It’s simple as that. Incredible things happen when you distance yourself from the negativity and those who create it.
Why are you trying to compete with everyone else? If you compete with everyone else, you will become bitter.  If you compete with a previous version of yourself, you will become better.  It’s as simple as that. That is why you just have to compete with yourself when you’re trying to change yourself, in body and mind.
Why do you let yourself to be taken advantage by others? You’re not a toy! One way to deal with stress and loss is to immerse yourself in doing good for others. Get involved in life.  It doesn’t even have to be a big, structured event.  Say a kind word.  Encourage someone nearby.  Pay a visit to someone who is alone.  Get away from your self-preoccupation for a while.  When it comes down to it, there are two types of people in this world.  There are givers and there are takers.  Givers are happy.  Takers are still unhappily wondering what’s in it for them.
Seek respect, not attention. Never focus on popularity over effectiveness. And why are you stuck on your own mistakes?! It’s important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes.  We need to learn from our errors and move forward.  Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your past.  Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn’t what you get for it, but what you learn from it.  A happy, successful life, after all, is not a life absent of problems, but one that’s been able to rise above them.
Don’t expect life to be always happy. You may experience suffer, heartbreak  and loss. Do not lose hope on how beautiful life is. I just hope my teachings will make you learn how good you have it. You’re living someone else’s dream and you let yourself get taken down by a simple heartache from the woman you love?! Shame should be at your side if you keep letting yourself down. Even though she breaks your heart, never hate or hurt her. Understand why she did that in the first place. Learn to live by her with cheers and smiles and you’ll see why you have the good life.

As I move on from the lady in black, I feel much happier. The rain becomes the joy of today and I could see how beautiful this village really is. Life is much simpler now…

Sincerely
Mario Lyberth

Resonating

If the simple solutions exist, our lives would be chaotic ‘cause everyone would have what they wanted. Life isn’t ment to be easy…

My time in the garden is closing its end and finally the sun is coming up. The bright light almost burned my eyes as I haven’t seen pure light in weeks. I really think I need the sunlight because I have felt tired all the time since I got here. At times I could hit up against communication problems that might not yield easily to discussion or compromise. However, with a some social scene showing up, time spent with friends can help ease any heartache. I know the result will be that I’ll begin to see things from a healthier and more relaxed perspective. However,  I will aim for sensitivity when dealing with loved ones.

Life is so fragile and with a single touch everything can be ruined and just fall apart. Sometimes it’s not the people who change but the mask wears off and suddenly everything else does too. Sometimes I ask love to be friendly, who is always by my side even though I don’t need it right now, like a perfect storm it captures me and ride me like a tornado. I see it now, freedom is just an illusion. We are afraid to commit and we tell ourselves that being free is better than being a part of someone elses love. We just have to learned to live in the moment and love how good we actually have it. I lost everything because I wanted more and greed gets you down everytime.

I think I’m attracted to women who can ruin my life with a single flick of a hand. Words are very powerful tools and sometimes they are even deadlier than the physical beating. Just like that… Shots fired, out of range… They wanna see me in a blood so great I just might die. Sometimes missing someone is just a part of moving on to a better place in life. I do miss her smile…

Sincerely
Mario Lyberth

The first trial: Solitude

I went down into the silent garden. Dawn is the time when nothing breathes, the hour of silence. Everything is transfixed, only the light moves.

My time here is going to take awhile. All the change I need to do, all the necessary change I have to do to make myself presentable to my surroundings. As you know, I’m a mess and pathetic. I understand why people don’t want to see me on a daily basis and I understand why people I love always leave me. I’m a screw-up and tend to be too sensitive. That is not a good combination from human compartment.
That is why I am here, in total solitude where nothing breathes and the hours are silent. No one to pick me up when I fall and no one to talk to about those sensitive feelings I tend to have.
I do wish my heart was like a rock, cold and hard, destructive and dangerous. I would never care about anything but myself, from the loved ones I thought I had.

I know you and I have never been anything more than we had. I know you never loved me, but I know you cared and you told me that. Things I wanted to say to you never came because I never had the courage to tell you why from the very beginning I was hurting. However, you have a beautiful personality I wish I could have seen more of. And I had the most amazing times with you, even though it’s not a lot. I never felt that way to anyone about what I felt about you. All my years on this earth it is the first time I felt I could really love someone.
That’s just it, isn’t it? I cannot control my heart and I failed. You don’t know me very well, but if you get me started I have a tendency to go on and on about how hard the life is for me, about trying to be the best man I want to be for you. But this, this is the hardest thing I ever had to write.
There is no easy way to say this, so I’ll just going to tell you how I felt when I met you the first time. It was an accident, I wasn’t really looking for it, I wasn’t on the make, it was a perfect storm, you said one thing, I said another and the next thing I knew I wanted to spend rest of my night in the middle of that conversation. We danced and one thing led to another, we kissed. Now there’s this feeling in my gut that you might be the one.  You’re completely nuts in a way that makes me smile, highly neurotic, a great deal of maintenance required. You is you… You make me paranoid.
That’s the good news. The bad news is that I don’t know how it happened, we fell apart and that scares the shit out of me. Because if I am not with you right now I have this feeling we’ll get lost out there. It’s a big bad world full or twist and turns and people have a way of blinking and missing the moment. The moment that could of changed everything. I don’t know what’s going on with us and I can’t tell you why you should waste a leap of faith on the likes of me. But damn you smell good, like home and you have a way of making me smile, that’s got to count for something, right?

The bad news is that we might never see ourselves than we were the first time we met. We are no longer… Together.

I hope my time here in the silent garden wouldn’t be longer than it has to be. I hope I will have the courage to be who I am becoming and I hope I have the strength to move on to the next trial.’

Sincerely
Mario Lyberth

 

Lady in Blue

Just my luck. Everything is changing again, the forest is slowly changing and the light slowly darkened by the moonlight. It’s heavier to breathe, it is even heavier for my eyes to see clear of everything. Why did I have to choose the one where challenge is more difficult to grasp.

From the looks of it this forest seems burned out and the smell of sulfur reeks all over the place. The moonlight is the only light I can use in this horrid place and the path is covered in dirt and mud. What is this place? Is it my eternal resting place or is this another challenge I should be taking? I guess I have to go further even though I don’t know where the hell I am going towards. I have to resonate in this material form, so I can undertake the word and write down my instructions before going to another plane.
I’ve been walking for hours and still I haven’t seen any living thing in this dark horrid place. However, I know I will meet someone soon and I believe it is nearby. After awhile I started hearing someone crying not far away. The moonlight prevents me to see where the cry is coming from. My senses have to lead me to meet.
This woman in blue stops crying as soon as I am nearby. She looks clean and beautiful even though the place would have made her covered in dirt.

Are you lusting with your eyes?

Lustra!

If you really want to continue the path you are currently taking, you have to cleanse your spiritual mind. Sometimes it is best to let go the one you love in order to firmly lay awake in this material form of plane existence. You have to learn to love living alone without someone to help you stand everytime you fall. After awhile you’ll learn to love another and all you can do is wait. Afterall, first we lusts with our eyes… Later we lust with our hearts.
If you are keen on continuing the path, you have to build up your body so you’ll have the strength to keep stance in a time of distress. Now, you are weak and pathetic. Why did you think everyone you ever love leaves you? And don’t be frustrated that it takes time to build the strength… Enjoy it.
Are you ready to take on the good fight?

My time here is just beginning. It may be dark and cold. It may be coveret in dirt and mud. I’m gonna enjoy my time until I am strong enough to take the passage to the skies.

Sincerely
Mario Lyberth

Lady in White

Jewel, sometimes a rare thing for some people. It can be a simple necklace that holds meaning for certain people. Sometimes it can be someone you held dear until it slipped away into the world outside.

Through my walk across the path in the dark forest I keep reminding myself how I must keep on going if I’m going to make it to the world I once knew. I keep telling myself the sentence that keeps me strong and willing to go on. “Life has knocked me down a few times. It has shown me things I never wanted to see. I have experienced sadness and failure. But one thing is for sure, I always get up. Now it’s time to fight back”.
I figure that sometimes soon I might meet someone so I kept my eyes focused and sharp. What seems to me I found another path… Now I have to decide which path I should take or am I making another mistake? This is going to take awhile.
While I’m standing there thinking which path I am actually going to take, I heard foot steps nearing me. They are stepping lightly, never stopping the pace of speed they are in I could finally see the shape of someone closing in on me. I could see a very beautiful woman in white appearing right in front of me.

Before you make your decision, let me make something very clear so you understand which path leads to.
Musings of an inappropriate woman are things that will make you become something else. Most of them act so innocent you will believe that they are actually cute and you’ll fall for their innocence and become their playthings. They have the ability to snuff out any decency you have and might turn you into a douchebag. Whatever makes them great, you’ll get caught up in a whirl of bullshit until she reaps you out here.
You’re not a man. In fact, you’re not even a boy. So, why are you even trying to walk these paths? You should give up already and just stay in these dark forests which might actually be best for you.

Alright, you seem to be handling it very well. I’ll tell you what to do now.

I feel angry, confused and very nauseating. I though this lady would be nice and very forward about what to do. Instead she spits out clues of what I should do and I have to think very clear. And what is it that makes her so great that I felt so uneasy and scared at the same time?

The path I am about to take is more challenging than the other. It is longer and heavy air is already filling my lungs up with paranoia. Illusions are next I guess.

Sincerely
Mario Lyberth

Lady in Red

On my way towards the light everything changed. The darkness became a forrest. Still I can see the light ahead the road.

I stopped for second to get a glimpse of what is going on with me. Sure, my soul is not alright and everybody knows that. My emotions are out of this world, so I should be fine. My heart is shattered into pieces and tramped into the ground. I have no love at all, so I should be fine on my way.

Along the way to the light I heard a woman singing, her voice is so beautiful I felt easy. Then I decided to stop to listen to her for awhile. If you lay your heart on the road, it will surely get run over by the darkness and smouldered, darkened by the dirt. So, I decided to check up on her. As I walked towards the voice I remembered how beautiful life used to be. How easy simple life has been before my time in here. Now, all I see is dirt and webs.
I can finally see her. She’s beautiful in red, but I can’t see her face as she’s turned her back against me. Then she stops singing. “Are you afraid of me?” She asks me. So why would I be afraid of such a beautiful creature luring me with lustfull voice? So, why would I be afraid of a lady in red? So I told her that I’m not afraid but confused why this has to happen in a time like this.

You have to get up and fly. Don’t mind the negativ world and just get yourself straighten up and see the world as you seen it before… Beautiful.
All of the dangers you’ve got are no longer the dangers in you. Sure, life has knocked you a few times and put you in darkness a few times as well. Do you know why you always get up and keep on going? Do you know how strong you really are? So why are you so messed up right now? Is it because you never loved a woman like this before? Sure, perhabs this woman could be really the one you really love. Sure, she could have been the one you’ve been looking for all your life. She could be the one you could have given everything to, not like before. You’re confused of why life has knocked you down from such love. I’ve seen you. You were so happy with everything, you even smiled when you see other couple kissing because you also had that. Can’t you maybe see the lesson here? Why sometimes life spits out pieces for you to display one at a time?
Now you have to get up again and fly away. No matter how hurt you feel, this is what you do. You get up and fight on the good fight. Maybe someday life won’t knock you down.

After awhile she told me that I can now walk on the path again. She says I’m ready to walk towards the light, so I can find the happiness I’m looking for. I’m working my ass off anyways.
What’s baffling me is why this woman is giving me advice. Is she my personal guardian angel? Or is she the one just there and I’m happen to be there and she has no choice? Who knows, all I know is that now she’s given me an advice. I think this is the best I’ve gotten. Now my soul is a little lighter but I’m not sure it’ll stay like this for long because there’s always something wrong when the good one is starting. Every damn time I run into trouble when I happen to find a decent little taste of happiness. It seems I can’t be happy. Not at least now. All I can do is keep on walking and every time when life knocks me down, I have to get up and fight the good fight. Maybe that is how life should be. Constant fighting.

Sincerely
Mario Lyberth

My Darkest Hour

It seems that I have reach an impass… Everything is so dark I can’t see far away. All I see is a ladder leading up somewhere unknown to me. My soul hurts… my body, slow…

Before I tell you how I got up and started climbing up, I need you to understand how exactly I got here to this dark unsettling place where there’s no one to help me get through. Even my music can’t fix this. I used to just play some music, then it’s all alright. But this time, the situation is dire and can’t be fixed by a simple 4 hour playthrough with my guitar.

My broken heart takes me to a place unknown and dark. Everything is deeply cold and icy. Everywhere I look, my nerves hides themselves. I searched everwhere else before finding out the ladder is the only one leading somewhere else in this hellhole. I kneel, my arms in the ground… Tears starts falling and I pray to God for mercy. No answer. This is where I probably thought I would give up and just disappear into the dark world.

When the sun shines no more, all you can do is search for the light in darkness. All you can do is try to keep going untill you find that warm place. None of it is here…

So,… here I am on my knees. Decided and ready to go. Then suddenly I could see the light far away. The breeze makes me stand up and see better. My senses are better now, I can see clearly.

Then you came into my world, everythings seems new and exciting. You changed me into a better man, better at everything. All of your perfect imperfections, all of them I loved, even when they are not on my side.

Then you came into my world, the sun shines brighter than before. You changed me into a kinder soul, better at everything. Every little thing you do, all of them I loved, even when they are not on my side.

Then you came into my world, the grass is greener and the birds sing better. You changed me and make me wanna change myself into a better soul. All of you I loved and all of you I adored. Your smile is all I wanted to see everyday.

I just wish things were different. I just wish you could at least care a little.

Sincerely
Mario Lyberth

Closer

The end is here… The walls stop me from coming further. I have no choice but to give up and cry about how close I got.

It’s the little things that will make me push forward… My goals are not my only priority, nothing else matters anymore. The drought is now over and life will hopefully shine again for a better tomorrow. Insanity will be prevented.
It hurts my heart to finally get to the point I was really afraid of, the end… I’ve known for awhile that this we had is going to end at some point. It was just a matter of time. I’ve been preparing for some time, piece by piece making my heart and soul stronger so I wouldn’t get hurt so much when it’s finally happen. I haven’t expected that it still could hurt so much. My tears won’t help build me and make me stronger.

I feel no one is really going to help me anymore. I feel all alone in this silly stupid world where I can’t find any happiness when everyone else does. I was the happiest man, the luckiest man.. all of sudden, life tears it and destroys my faith in love… I don’t think I can love again… I don’t think I can ever see someone in the eye and say three little words. My soul is now dark and elusive. My soul reaps all the good things in life and makes me cynical about the perpetual déja vú. I can no longer feel the warmth in me… I want to disappear into the unknown depths of this world where no one can ever find me again.

Sincerely
Mario Lyberth

Hindrance

We’ve all been told you have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding a princess, but no one ever tells you that it’s really hard to stop worrying that said princess might actually be a toad in disguise. After you’ve been fooled and disappointed a few times, it’s understandable to think something is too good to be true.

It can be a challenge for any of us to just trust, to accept that someone who presents themselves as a quality human is, in fact, a keeper. But not trusting can kill it instantly. Having that constant paranoia and suspicion that the seemingly good thing you’re in is actually going to crumble is a sure-fire way to ruin everything or at the very least, keep you from enjoying the moment.

So, what is it that I’m trying to achieve by constantly reminding myself that this or whatever it is, can actually be good for me? My own personal demon is ruining me… slowly.
So I should just hope that my so-called relationship or whatever the damn thing is, can actually be enjoyed as long as it lasted. The endings are hard. No one can perfectly write a reasonable ending for the readers or the viewers to enjoy without complaining about it. If it is going to end badly, or if it’s going to destroy my faith for love I shouldn’t really complain do I? I’m a beautiful loser, where am I gonna fall anyways. Because nothing really ever ends.

Sincerely
Mario Lyberth